In recent years, China\'s divorce rate is rising year by year, there are more families in the edge of divorce. Many parents uphold the marriage of reason is only: give children a complete home. One reader said, she was confused, as the parents leave behind one\'s own happiness and suffering, great personal sacrifice will bring the children happiness? For the children, divorce is not? It was a hamlet of problems.
Divorce supporters
Views: love and warmth than marriage integrity is more important for the kids. Better to children living in warm and incomplete families, or children living in the cold \"complete\" in the family. …… Injury of divorce, single parent child myths
Single parent families more children than divorce.
Children become parents not grounds for divorce, child\'s psychological guilt even more.
Bad marriage bad marriage model of the child.
Hostility between the parents and even attacking each other, twisted child\'s temperament.
One parent kids bad influences of bad behavior.
Good remarried families give their children a double love.
Now more accepting and tolerant social environment on single parent families, children affected by discrimination reduces.
Does not leave the child more cowardly
Family lives in zhongcun town, Panyu district, Tan Xiaoqiang has 6 years old, but he is within the children the same age, shy, poor communication, has often been the students bully. His father to all the pretext of doing business, regardless of the child, come home often scolded child timid and weak, xiaoqiang mother education does not properly. Small strong parents did not divorce, but in fact most of the time xiaoqiang mother separate disciplines, is a de facto single parent families.
After divorce, no obvious effect
One reader told reporters in Dongshan district, a good friend of mine a few years ago and her new husband\'s emotional problems, both husband and wife quarreled, was only 3 years old daughter becoming day by day the sensitive, timid, and adults a quarrel and the boy was crying. For the children, and her friend got married as soon as possible, the friends with children by now, my friend\'s mother also often help with children. The child is 6 years old, and the other children the same lively, happy, do not see divorce have a significant impact on her.
Compromise is not worth
Huang Qi was a kindergarten teacher who lives in South China Sea troubled child, he often fight with the children, if someone\'s toy he also, be sure to grab hands, like a \"little fighter\". It turns out that\'s father was a violent man, at home, mother often is he cursed, obviously also very afraid of his father, when the father returned often hide. In order to give a complete set of home, the mother would rather put up with blows and scoldings than divorce. Gradually, in the minds of plainly, is the way of solving the problem of violence.
Do not divorce supporters
Views: \"Ning demolished a temple, not breaking a marriage\", all of divorce on children are hurt, there is no \"good\" divorce such thing.
Heavy psychological blow on divorce to children, easily lead to its character defects, interpersonal communication skills of children weakened.
Divorce may result in children lack of discipline and warm, children from divorced families of crime more likely.
Social prejudices and discrimination against divorced families so that children from divorced families low self-esteem even stronger, more sensitive, early maturing.
General economic level of single parent families will decline, affecting the quality of life of children.
Single parent family only by the father or the mother party education, leading to family education of the children are missing.
Divorced when children grow up in their marriage stood on the issue of frustrations.
Relationships between children and step-parents, and will cause the relationship between child and family indifference.
Children leaving home slip
Hu hongfeng from Hunan after the divorce of their parents living with my mom, Dad, no matter what the do not ask. After the mother laid off, live on temporary workers, nannies for others, the pressure of life makes the mother\'s increasingly violent temper, and not much time to discipline her. Little by little she didn\'t want to go home, but in the community to make \"friends\", then simply run away from home, and \"friends\" to Guangzhou \"mixing\" world, the end result of joining theft group has received legal punishment.
Son has changed
Who lives in Baiyun district, Guangzhou, Lin Chiang was born with and parents relationship discord, by constant quarrels eventually transition to give boxing move, children under one year old just got divorced. Children with the mother after divorce; for mother hated the child\'s father, and children growing up, constantly in front of the children tell mother and father unfortunately defects, even as a child answering others questions, said his father died. Parent of the child in such not complete grew up in an environment of love and love, in the kindergarten is not gregarious, than with the children and teachers much speech, often sitting alone, small adults think of something. Sometimes if a child irritated him, he\'ll be on the rampage, and children to fight, not to win is not available. To the primary school stage, this phenomenon has increased and learning difficulties rather than to the students or teachers for advice, deterioration in the performance.
Daughter left a psychological disorder
Li Jia, yuexiu district, Guangzhou, is a large class of kindergarten children, and she does not like to play with the boys. A teacher once asked her why don\'t boys play together, she said, MOM says man is not a good person, I don\'t talk to bad guys to play together. It turns out that Jia Li\'s father was cheating on me and Li Jia\'s mother divorced, her mother abhorred of men does not consciously have teaches the young Li Jia.
Experts say
Now many rational parents are not easy to say good or bad for the kids of divorce, and the analysis of specific issues should be specific. Marriage should be graded, and serious side of marriage, such as domestic violence, one of the parents abuse alcohol or gambling, child physical and psychological negative effects might be worse than a divorce more; and mild bad marriage you should seriously consider divorce, after all, how many effects will give children to divorce, this may even be continued until the kids grow up.
Another survey showed that damage to children of divorce in the process of conflict, to harm is greater than the result of divorce on children, especially during the divorce process practice of involvement of children in divorce battle, particularly damage to the child.
Even parents forced divorce, also to take some comparison appropriate of method, processing and children of relationship, and help children positive awareness and adaptation parents divorce Hou of new environment, will on children of hurt fell to minimum, as to children can listen to was understand of language to children told Ming divorce of causes, and told children, he still has most love he of father mother; divorce Hou of parents both be keep and children of close relationship, often with children playing, concern children of life and learning; parents party is not children before slander another party. Sun Yat-sen University Sociology Professor Liu Linping
Survey data
On the impact of divorce on children, there is \"limited impact said\" and \"conflict said\" two views. Shanghai Academy of social sciences have a divorce the quantitative study of children and their parents, teachers, the results support the \"limited impact said\" that is, effects of divorce on children is not imagination so much. The findings are as follows:
Teachers, parents and children think the negative impact of divorce on children.
12% think the child psychological tensions ease
30% sees no negative impact
40% believes that no significant differences
16% other
Parents hunbian experience also has a positive significance on children\'s growth and there have been some positive change.
12% more mature
28. 4% more negative
26. 8% is good or bad effect has
32. 4% is no clear difference
Teacher attitudes to divorced children and other children.
2. 8% student discrimination, ridicule
33% teacher attitudes
65. 6% student attitudes in General
65. 8% subject to teacher special care
No comments:
Post a Comment