Six months ago \"Liuyi\" during children\'s day, a nationwide survey \"intergenerational education\", according to the results: almost half of China\'s children grew up with Grandpa and Grandma, and Grandpa and Grandma. The survey data: at present, the Shanghai 0~6sui 50~60% of the children belong to the intergenerational education; Guangzhou intergenerational education children account for half of the total; in Beijing, accepted generational education of children up to 70%. And the younger children, and the higher the proportion of grandparents living with, and the resulting family conflicts more and more. Thousands of years of Chinese traditional family education mode?? Intergenerational education nowadays is a large range of questions. It is said that this mode of education at this stage will affect the quality of the Chinese population in the future. What is the situation:
Generational misunderstanding
People used between close grandchild relationship is called a \"generational\". In fact, intergenerational education is a time span than the broader term. In our traditional family, the 0~3sui or even predominantly before school age parenting categories, this period is for child growth and development of psychological and physiological index----the so-called morality when laying. Right now, the traditional \"generational\" appears under the rearing of misunderstanding, is extremely detrimental to healthy growth of children. We may wish to look at a few small pieces:
Lens and a Mimi born father mother, lived with his grandparents. Parents go to work every day to go out in the morning and return in the evening, she was brought up in Grandpa and Grandma\'s knee. Doll is her little friends, children\'s songs, music was her teacher in the semiconductor, and grandparents take to the streets is about the basic activities of the community. Grandparents have already very old, walking toddler. So Mimi preschool is staying at home yourself more time to play, go to school until she really made her door. Now Mimi is graduated, but still was left with a deep body sign of generational parenting: quiet, a poor talker, don\'t like exercise, lack of child innocence and lively, go home after class, see her figure on campus. This eccentric character cannot but her initial growing environment-related.
Lens II woman\'s son Liu jianjian at the age of two, mother retired moved to live with, and the family and the United States and, because children education problems arise from time to time some friction. For example: she made a Braised prawn for lunch, said one man, two, grandmother saying \"I love to eat\", a clip to his grandson in the bowl. Previous health health drink without effort, many drink a glass of cold boiled water. Grandmother, Catherine, were sugar and fruit Jane, invigorating and health to see water on her head. Jianjian already will also wear socks, grandma not to monopolize, and do a degradation of health and health care function. Madam Lau\'s own mother it was kind of a headache, this son was spoilt by her not.
Shot three friends in Sina parenting forum posts, dsm0922 said: son usually brought up by nannies at home, only weekend to Grandma\'s House. When at home, he is obedient, not willful. After to Grandma\'s House, with old brother learned to crawling, bad habits such as wearing shoes to go to bed. When I corrected his problems when, next to my grandmother always told me the opposite. Like I said, \"son, don\'t wear shoes to go to bed, step on Grandma\'s quilt is dirty, Grandma how tired the quilt is washing. \"Grandma would say:\" it doesn\'t matter, let children step on it, on her dirty then wash. \"For example, when her son eat fruit, I said:\" give you surrounding last son mother handkerchief or dirty, ugly clothes. \"Grandma would say:\" no, not without Wai Wai. \"If this situation persists, son gradually discarded the original good practice, develop a lot of bad habits. Grandma son said: \"Grandma, Grandma\'s largest, MOM and Dad had to listen to Grandma \'s. \"Two year old child already realize, in grandmother\'s home and in their own different philosophy of life, can not listen when mother in Grandma\'s home. Development now, even my grandmother, who were not heard.
\"Generational\" indeed there was some misunderstanding. Two generations of breeding methods are inconsistent, lead to family conflicts already is an old problem. Said to be fair, rearing method inconsistent is not all wrong for the elderly. Sea Sea-grandparents teacher is very strict with the haihai since childhood, eat on time three meals a day, a piece of fruit, no longer feeding snacks, but also to haihai learn to clean the table, sweeping, washing small handkerchief. Haihai mother secretly said to her husband: \"Grandpa and Grandma really koumen, when the grandson had slaves. \"Modernist Sea Sea mother believes that as long as the son of mouth, everything has to meet him. Haihai although they didn\'t go to school, will observe, in front of grandparents he was very sensible, on mothers side he spoiled Act shamelessly. Specific issues notes on generational education to specific analysis.
Cannot avoid social phenomenon
Door of the number of day-care kindergarten in Beijing, every morning and afternoon taking the child\'s parents have many of the elderly. Occasionally seeing one or two young face, asked most is home in nannies. Intergenerational education is so common in China, with the current economic and social development conditions have a great relationship.
In speeding up the process of urbanization, economic restructuring, reform in the high speed development of all industries, the double pressure of young people to take to Start A Family, they work to double investment on the one hand, continue to charge, fighting for the cause of the success; on the other hand happy family livingContinue to rise. Then, when their human parents at the beginning, especially when the only child of parents, serious shortage of time and effort to become the biggest challenges of raising children. In the context of such a society, despite the high expectations of their only child, there is the flesh is weak and had to take the child to his parents with, this is the increasing phenomenon of intergenerational education, main reason for the increasingly common.
Chinese Academy of Sciences Institute of psychology doctoral students Wang Jicheng believes that, in any case, intergenerational education in China is inevitable. The one hand, this is the traditional family model in China, on the other hand, social realities makes generational education essential. When urban and rural middle-aged and young people are busy making as much money, busy time, when in most cases, Nanny is not professional, was when care responsibilities, child was largely owned by her grandparents.
In Western countries, from the child until the first day of elementary school, each age has specialized child care institutions. Education for 0~3sui children attached particular importance to those countries, very comprehensive care institutions, practitioners are subject to strict review of the relevant departments, must hold a certificate of professional qualifications in order to post. Professional childcare staff from life, learning to give children a full range of psychological care. Having a sound institutions for protection and their parents after the birth of a child, you can rest assured to work. Therefore, heyday, Professor Wang believes that today, in speeding up the process of urbanization, in the age of only-child, people high requirements for the child is able to understand. But the problem is parents, in particular generational parents quality lags far behind the development and growth of children in the age requirement.
Face of this widespread phenomenon, especially in the early stages of education of young children, how to do to overcome generational prone to abuses in the education, playing the role of older persons and could facilitate the work of young parents make energy investment in better, spell something?
Disadvantages of clear understanding of the problem
Spring is the best season in a year, morning is the best time of the day. Child life, personal quality, critical period of the personality formation in 0~7sui. If at this stage almost all children and elderly people are living together, lost and the feelings of parental communication, training opportunities, despite the \"generational\" special favours flooded, there will be very adverse negative impact on the development of their physical and psychological. For example:
Easy to make the children form a self-centered, selfish, willful bad personality.
The elderly especially loves children, grandchildren easy doted on across generations and accommodation. When grandchildren are the one-child, in particular, on the psychology of the elderly will have scruples?? In case of errors slip, I\'m sorry children, afraid of people blame. Thus, everything for the elderly in accordance with the child, protection of children everywhere, at home in the heart of the child. Child makes a mistake is not corrected in a timely manner, often unreasonable desire children. In terms of eating, children do \"patent cuisine\" let the children enjoy the dining tables of special treatment; handle child all the things in life, instead of children dress, instead of children finishing toys, instead of feeding the children feed himself, or even worry about kids wrestling, the trouble of holding children up and down the stairs sth
The practices of the elderly, children slow movements of limbs, independent living poor, dependent parents everywhere, everything I-centric, to serve him for the whole family, in the event of difficulties or when requirements cannot be met, he will be angry, very angry. Excessive protection for the elderly, not only killing the child\'s independent ability and self-confidence, also so that the child becomes extremely selfish, timid effeminate:, weak.
Easy devoid of children born of curiosity, adventure and innovation.
Elderly people vulnerable to the restraints of traditional thinking, accept new thing is slow, is lagging behind the concept of education and upbringing, years formation modes of thinking and way of life is not easy to change. They wanted children cute, obedient, safe and secure is not unusual, not very good at using scientific, creative way to guide children. Occur due to curiosity of the children of \"trouble\", \"sabotage\" with adventure and exploration of innovative behavior, always eager to be blocked.
For example, when the child is caught some ants to feed, when pulling up pots of Orchid children to see when the root is what, and when the children caught up in a bar when a toy car, ancestors always stops them and criticism. Because, in their consciousness, playing with Ant is very dirty, remove flowers are intentionally disruptive, a perfect toy car is not \"breaking\". They think the baby these outreach practices were bad behavior must be corrected immediately. Imagine in that children who grow up in a family environment, how can form the pioneering and innovative personality?
Easily lead to narrow the view of children, lack of vitality, mental aging.
Most older persons because of age, likes quiet, does not love sports, nor love out of activities. Children and grandparents be closely associated, long confined to the old man\'s living space and atmosphere, ear immerseDyeing imitation are the words and deeds of the elderly, adult mouths closed said, lose naive nature. In addition, less out of activities, on the one hand small exercise, physical lack of exercise can cause physical weak sickly; on the other hand at home saw little, less exposed to new things, can lead to narrow the view of children, lack of vitality, dare not face of strangers, does not itself handle affairs. Serious can also cause children to be narrow-minded, stubborn, retreat, mental aging, and so on.
Weaknesses is a key
In real life, generational education nor useless. Thousands of years under the accumulation of many excellent traditions of the family education of the Chinese nation, quite a number of grandparents raising children accomplish the great cause. Olympic 110-meter hurdles on the track running all the way, won the champion Liu Xiang, from parents busy with his livelihood go out in the morning and return in the evening, he had been the foster grandparents home, not only old and established a close relationship, and learned from the elderly a lot of excellent quality.
Peking University children psychological Institute of Professor Haibo Huang think: ancestors parents has love, on Sun generation is like, they has ample of time and energy, willing to spent time and children in together life, and to patience to listen children of described; ancestors parents has dependency and education children of practice experience, on children in different of age easy appears what problem, should how processing, know of to than children of parents more was more; ancestors parents in long-term of social practice in the accumulation has rich of social experience and life feeling, they think children should in happy, and loose of environment Xia learning and life, do not have to forced must to such as. Facts have proven that many grandparents brought up children, good physical fitness, in residential care and stronger security than other children.
However, the ancestors of the values, lifestyles, knowledge structures, education methods and modern society will have more or less differences. In addition, the ancestors must have on the physiological and psychological characteristics of the elderly. Thus, intergenerational education on children\'s personality development are bound to be some negative effects. How the key is using its long, to avoid their short.
On children and their parents to play a double role of young parents, be sure to your busy schedule for taking the time to communicate with the children in, communication with the elderly, never abandoning her duties. As long as you pay attention to, time always out to. For example: after supper every day and children games, stories and takes children out on the weekend activities. At the same time to achieve respect for the elderly, often old and chat, talk about the science of raising children new experiences, reluctant to accept advice for the elderly; buy some scientific parenting books, and exchange learning experiences for the elderly, helping the elderly to accept new things; spoil children, such as the wrong approach for the elderly, we must firmly express their attitude, patience and consulted for the elderly, minimizing the positive conflict.
Young\'s parents must be clear: his is the true protagonist of the children. So, don\'t try to do things the easy way, children born and throw to the elderly, also don\'t be afraid of elderly spoilt child, refused old man with children, and sever the grandchild of affection between. Whether living with elderly, still put children in foster care in the elderly, we should pay attention and coordination for the elderly, all for the healthy growth of children as a starting point, actively resolve contradictions and disputes, fight for intergenerational education achieve win-win situation.
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