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9.3.11

Parents experience: my parents and decompression

In daily life, many children live with their parents often regular sense of pressure and anxiety, grief, fear, anger and other emotions. In this case, the parents do? Best way is to vacuum the child.


One of the parents and decompression call nice name


Home has a pair of twin sons, first born son I often call her \"great treasure\", and small, of course, is \"little treasure\". Regardless of the morning, or call us for dinner, with a nice voice called nice name, children of pressure naturally small. Who knows, when even the name carried the family name was called at that time, it is a time of trouble or suffer.


Parenting decompression method II: using music to replace calls


Wake up children in music in the morning rather than call up my mother shout and wrangle, pressure must be much smaller. If fine music before going to bed, a good start but a day. Timer is an easy to use tool, who does not like to suddenly be interrupted, telling children, after 5 minutes take a bath, fine timer, you won\'t have to bargain at that time, if the child can decide how long playing computer games, time to, they will be more easily observed.


Three of the parent-child decompression: time of quantity and quality are important


Concepts of the world, is family time quality matters more than quantity, is also called quality time: how long is the care and child together time and care about what to do with him.


In fact, this is a plausible theory.


United States of the tube and teach author Dr Dawson cites an example: there is a man to eat steak, for a long time, extremely hungry, finally waiters served a small piece of steak. \"Why so small? \"\" This is the most wonderful steaks. \"\" But I have enough to eat. ”


Children need good quality food, but fixed, a sufficient number of meals is more important. We can\'t all day at home, and give children 10 minutes of quality time, think he will meet. Quality time is when he excitedly school, you were there to hear him speak in high spirits; quality time, when is he depressed home, where are you listening, comforting, encouraging. If you miss, when we have time, and asked him \"how well today? \"He would only say\" Fortunately \".


We have several years to implement a \"tradition\", that children \"separate appointments\". Child one day belong to his special day every 3 months, and the father or mother to do something of their choice. Boss and father to the Confucius Temple, for example, eat, and then chess; the second platform and I bought a ticket, see the train at the station, he would not care to say, \"to see the column, Oriental, a list of red flags, you go! \"Although there are two children, we want them to feel that they are in the eyes of parents\" invisible jiaoer \". These are the real parents of quality time. \"Quantity\" accumulated is very important, occasionally a meal of steak, not a substitute for three meals a day.


Parenting decompression method four: listen, often hold


One educator said, to hug your children 4 times a day. I try to remind ourselves that when children listen or watch their eyes. Often, at this dedicated time, heart filled love for them, would naturally hold them. Hug, Kiss, praise, encourage, these never too much. When a child love trough when filled, he would only reveal love, rather than be a disgruntled child.


United States former President George Bush\'s wife, in Wesleyan Women\'s College graduation ceremony: \"wait for you at my age, would not lose a deal or less regret a customer, but if you do not have to spend time in her husband\'s children, you will regret. ”


Children, if usually not embracing habits, can also be patted shoulders, gently pinch pinch his arm. The best idea is to keep some intimate way, say to yourself, I would like to continue to do, because it is not so, suddenly, son than I have, not that I hold him, he bent to take up inferior jobs is me on the shoulder.


Think of a story.


A mother in the child\'s room, said: \"I have a lot of words to tell you, I\'m sorry, I\'ve been so busy. \"She has been saying, sorry, finally, the children put away suitcase:\" MOM, why say what I had to go to University tomorrow. \"Child in the US only about 18 years, take the opportunity to hug him.


Parent-child decompression v: let go


In fact, I learned the most difficult and most useful homework is: let it go! Let go!


Family pressures, in fact, whatever the pressure between the interpersonal, most expect-related. Inappropriate expectations create pressure to pull up seedlings to help them grow, against their fatal embrace. Proper expectations, people prosper, would bloom the flowers. We parents can only accompany them, observing their strengths to encourage, support, expected to lay down their own, so both can enjoy each other\'s relationship. I told myself, never on the child\'s homework, talent makes everyone cry crying. Children play the setbacks at a time, I said learn well, every time he immediately said, no, I still want to learn. As the child hour, I often say, eat stop eat, but no children to worry about at the dinner. Child wise very, cares where you matter, even if you don\'t speak up, he knew, and in that case, and against you, the more you let go, the more he knows not a threat, only you can learn responsible. When the children have a force from the inside, when the willingness, intangible is getting between parents do not need to exert pressure.

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