\"Grandparents\" pros and cons

Surveys show that about half of children in China are accepted by grandparents, for the majority of great importance to children, and lack of parental effort for modern young parents, grandparents or disadvantages or need to carefully measure.

Many children\'s psychological and educational experts to grandparents make the pros and cons of different views, Guiyang City children
Hospital Children\'s psychological chief physician Guan Fuqin says, most people believe that China\'s traditional way of grandparents have a negative impact on children\'s growth, need to ancestors and parents in child rearing and care in corrections, overcome, mainly has following several aspects:

First, spoil and indulge too much easy for child care are too self-centered, form a selfish, willful bad character. The elderly especially loves children, often into no principle of accommodation and doting. At the same time and alternate generation is the one-child, feared bad care for the elderly, children blame, so more to take things in accordance with the child, children often unreasonable desires without principles, meet. Self awareness, self control, self-evaluation of the child is not a good development, resulting from small not self-regulation and control their behavior, their wishes are not met will produce mood swings or aggressive behavior, you cannot get along with your partner, not into the collective.

Secondly, excessive protection to contain the development of child\'s independence and self-confidence, enhanced child dependency. China\'s renowned education expert Chen heqin\'s children have said: whatever the child can do it, let him to do it by yourself. In order to cultivate their independence, autonomy and responsibility, enhance the ability of social adaptation of children. And many ancestors tend to handle children of all things, fear of suffer the children is not willing to let their children play with other boys, afraid of children fall to clear away all obstacles for their children. This psychology is not only unrealistic, it is impossible; on the contrary will do so only for the child\'s future life create an adverse impact on the psychological.

Third, by virtue only of grandparents love, cannot satisfy the child\'s emotional needs. From the psychological process of development, 0-5, this period is the love of parents of children most in need of care, emotional attachment to meet their parents properly, on children\'s mental health in the future play an extremely important role in the development, this emotional needs are grandparents do not meet them. Love more ancestors is in meeting survival needs and security needs of young children, and the need for higher level-emotional vesting only parents to meet the needs of, otherwise children would not have been incentives, is respect for the fourth level of need, emotional belonging has not been stable.

IV, education\'s lack of awareness and education methods not easily give the children let form a cooperation with others, caring and enthusiastic quality opportunities to help others. Parents in child care in the process of interaction with others is always guiding children and child-friendly games, when there are disputes and peer, comparative calm, pay attention to children with the right solution to the problem. And ancestors easily proceed from the interests of their children to ensure children do not disadvantage of education it is easy to make them grow arrogance, high-handedness, bad habits.

On the, ancestors parents has love, on Sun generation is joy, they has ample of time and energy, willing to spent time and children in together life, and to patience to listen children of described; ancestors parents has dependency and education children of practice experience, on children in different of age easy appears what problem, should how processing, they know of to than children of parents more was more; ancestors parents in long-term of social practice in the accumulation has rich of social experience and life feeling, can to children happy, and loose of learning, and life environment, ancestors parenting of these advantage also not ignored.